BlueBay Grand Esmeralda, Mexico

The day started at 1 am, I drag myself out of bed feeling like I didn’t sleep at all. I figured id sleep somewhere along the way. I showered up and went outside to wait for my ride to the airport. 30minutes late we were finally on our way to the airport. Check-in and customs was a breeze 20 mins tops then we had 5 hours to kill before the flight, tried sleeping but was way too excited. My partner waited in a Timmies line that was 55 orders strong, probably because it was the only restaurant that didn’t have inflated airport prices.

We stumbled off air Canada flight ac1810, thrown tiredly into the gauntlet that is Mexican customs as we panicked to figure out our resorts address. They pushed us through only asking our hotel name and how long we were staying, to pick our luggage off a possibly tequila crafted conveyor belt. They conspicuously scanned our luggage and asked where we are from we responded CANADA!! With maple syrup on top. We were then ushered to the third and final customs agent who asked us to push a button that would determine our fate… It came up green and we were granted entry into Mexico. We passed through the timeshare shuffle and were approached by Donnell who tried to push us all kinds of mayhem at a discount price and also seemed to have a massive boner for the Island Of Man. We shot down his every tablet presented excursion even though each started with a picture of his son. We then made our way into the parking lot where our vintage chariot awaited aka 1970s greyhound bus with an emergency window breaking pickax which was our only mean of escape in the case of emergency

We arrived at our resort 30 minutes later they chained our luggage down and pushed us into the lobby. The lobby was filled with chaos that can only be described as the big bang, as we fought for our existence in the resort we would call home for the next 7 days we were granted 2 towel cards and 2 wristbands to tie us over for 2 hours. Sweaty balls and all we dragged ourselves to the sports bar where I sipped 3 Dos Equis until our keys were ready. Then we headed back to the demon spawn reception where we continued our fight for a place in the blue bay universe. In a fit of draft beer, I managed to lose the ticket to my luggage and had to bribe a bellhop who barely spoke English to deliver it to our room. After a 15 minute wait, we decided to get lost then finally make it to our room 6405 shortly after we were greeted by smiley Sanchez who dropped off our luggage. He was so happy it was like he birthed his first child all from a $5 bribe. We made our way to the buffet where we gorged on some of mankind’s most delicious food ever crafted because we were starving. After dinner, we were greeted by Smiley Sanchez again driving the ford express and was again wearing a smile that was fit for clowns. We finally made it back to our hotel room where we participated in a 12-hour sleep deprived slumber.

Travelling Trev.