Howe Cave, New York
HOWES CAVERNS
We arrived at HOWES caves at about 3 pm starving, and ready to eat whatever themed restaurant food the attraction had to offer, we quickly grab the camera backpack and a couple waters and headed into the main building. Before we even made it in the door we came across a large sign saying no backpack allowed inside and no food or drink in the cave. We turned around and headed back to the car, I pulled the cameras out and dumped the backpack and waters in the trunk. Stomachs growling we headed back in, only to be greeted by a “restaurant closed ” sign. Despite the constant complaints from our stomachs, we decided to grab tickets for the cave tour and wait to eat when we got to the hotel. The tour was 1hr and 30mins long and cost $25 they departed every 30mins, and to our surprise, there were only 2 tours left for the day. The next one departed about 20 mins so we emptied our bladders, then went back to the car to snack a granola bar to hold us over till we found real food. With the remainder of the time, we browsed the gift shop. It was filled with the kind of Generic Chinese made stuff you find in every attraction around North America. It looked like they stamped their logo on every possible price of cookie-cutter merchandise in existence. They did have a display case filled with custom cut rocks, crystals and other types of stones ware though.
It was time to descend on our 156ft journey into the earth, we were last in a line of about 20 people so we didn’t get a great view of the pre-show. What we could make out was an Animatronic likeness of the guy who found it and a spotlight that shined onto a map on the wall of the cave layout. After the 5minute presentation on the history of a farmers cows finding the whole and then explaining the tour briefly, we were ushered towards 2 elevators. Slightly crowded but we all made it in one trip. The air was cool and thick and had a very unique smell. It took me a minute to adjust and get used to it, for a moment I felt a little dizzy and it was hard to breathe probably my asthma.
Our guide introduced himself “Ron” and began his tutorial on what not to do in the cave, repeating do not touch the rocks 4 or 5 times. Once he felt he got his point across he led us along a Bricked pathway stopping every once in while to point out and explain the different rock formations, stalactites, stalagmites, and flow-stones.
Inserting corny rock jokes every 3 sentences like a trained parrot that doesn’t understand humour Ron tried his hardest to hold our attention about a subject that’s been known to rock people to sleep.
We continued our journey stopping at the landmarks of the cave which included a formation that looked like a Chinese pagoda, and the rock that resembled a witches face all the while Ron’s jokes continued to hit rocky roads.
Eventually, we came to an underground river, we waited momentarily until a large rowboat appeared from the darkness. It docked and we began boarding 2 by 2. Once the second boat was full we began our journey down what they called the river sticks. You could feel coldness coming off of the 42-degree water as our guide ushered us along by pushing off of the low hanging rocks. About the halfway point, there were no rocks low enough to push off of so he grabbed a long PVC pipe that was strapped to the side of the boat and began to push off of the bottom. Not much was said during the journey and it was kind of Erie. We eventually came to the end, a waterfall off in the distance of the cave could be heard. He told about the adventure tour that actually went well beyond the end. We then started heading back to the doc repeating the tour but in reverse. Once our boats were unloaded Ron ushered us back the way we came detouring upstairs at one point to view a chapel that had a heart shaped block of flow-stone that had a legend attached to it that anyone who steps on it at the same time will be married within a year… I call bullshit!
We made our way back down just on the opposite side we came up and then started heading back the way we came. Near the end our guide pointed out another passage that detoured off to the right, it was an offshoot of the main cave that was carved naturally by the water that once flowed through the cave system. He warned that it was a really tight winding cavern with ceilings low as 4ft and as high as 45ft. But only 2-3 ft wide. “Claustrophobic beware”. The cave was just as tight as advertised but in my opinion was the most authentic part of the Howes Spelunking experience. The natural patterns on the rock from the water grinding away at it and the sheer scope in size of the detour is defiantly breathtaking. Not to mention is the only time you can touch the rocks, if only Inadvertently. The cave spit us out right around the corner from the elevator we had arrived on
Our guide hailed it and then came back to point out the replica cheese on the wall and shouted a cheesy update literary for cheese that was made in the cave as he pointed to a chained off storage room. The elevator opened and I could smell the fresh air so we bolted in and tucked in, top floor, please.
I don’t know if it was the floodlights pointing at every somewhat interesting looking rock, the railings surrounding everywhere you could possibly slip and fall, or the perfectly laid red brick pathway we traversed but I definitely wasn’t getting the authentic spelunking experience I was hoping for. That being said it was still an experience I would recommend to anyone to try. Once you get past all the cornball theatrics and insanely well-manicured cave system this attraction is really quite amazing to see. The insane amount of hours spent to create this attraction truly shows in its polished appearance and scripted presentation, it’s defiantly an ONE OF A KIND attraction.
Secret Caverns
We were barreling down back roads with belly’s full of country dinner breakfast which was probably the only good thing to come out of Cobleskill. The prospect of potential authentic spelunking experiencing overpowered the scent of morning chicken feed and cow dung that hung in the morning air. We begin to see the signs. Literally! billboards on the side of the road with local artwork advertising “THE SECRET CAVE” After a few one of a kind marketing tactics from various local artists, we arrived. As soon as you roll into the parking lot you are greeted by a giant bat that was painted on the entrance to the main building. Eyes glowing red in all its glory it housed the gift shop, washroom, and ticket booth all in one. The interior was painted just as colourfully as the exterior just with much more detail. Even some of the more common items like garbage cans were painted. It’s a true sight to behold, with floor to ceiling art, this place screamed authenticity.
We got our tickets and were told the tour will start in 20mins. The furry Desk man then directed us to the washrooms and informed us that there is another cave if we went out the back and to the left. So like just trained puppies we both sauntered over to the washroom. Once inside I realized this wasn’t your average bathroom it had been painted from floor to ceiling as well, very distracting will peeing on command. We then headed outside to the cave, out the back door, following the signs to the ice cave we passed a stock for adult and child probably the weirdest family photo op I’ve ever seen but fitting to the time of year. We also passed a decaying wheelbarrow that looked like it had been sitting through the season since the hole in the ground had been discovered. When we finally arrived It was just a crack in the ground. Severely unimpressed we headed back to the gift shop. The shop had a lot more local crafts and original artwork and not a lot of Generic Chinese made bullshit. I defiantly got the vibe that they were feeding the starving artist and a lot of the neighbourhood.
After a short wait, we were greeted by our guide who sounded like he just rolled out of bed. Being the only 2 that showed for the first tour our guide point out that we would be getting an exclusive private tour. He motioned us to head outside where he began to inform us of the history and discovery of the cave. Very similar to Howe Caverns, wandering cows and all only difference being that it was a group of young boys that first explored the caves. We then followed him down the petrified escalator which was nothing more than extremely narrow winding concrete stairs. They weren’t the best finished or uniform stairs but they did a perfect job getting us down the 150ft hole to the bottom of the cave. On the way down our guide stopped to make a point and inform us that we can touch any or all of the rocks we wanted and he was rubbing a formation that looked like it had been touched by every person that ever entered the cave. I didn’t want to feel left out so I touched it as I passed, It felt as smooth as Michel Jackson looked.
Once at the bottom, our guide pulled out a set of keys and put them in what looked like a light switch, and sure enough, once he turned the key the lights came on. We started our journey down the narrow path toward the waterfall, not even 2 minutes in I could tell this was a way more authentic spelunking experience then HOWES. Our guide stopped along the way a few times to point out unique rock formations, and to tell stories of the boy’s journey through the cave upon its discovery.
Every so long our guide would stop to shut the lights off behind us and turn the ones in front of us on. He told us that I was an effort to conserve electricity and also so the guy upstairs could see on the switchboard where the tour was. As our guide woke up he began to become more personable and tell more jokes and personal stories about the area. We came to learn that he used to work at HOWES caverns but left to work here because it was much more laid back. We could defiantly tell.
After a couple reflecting pools and seeing the ice caves entrance from below we arrived at our destination.
A 100ft waterfall the fell from what seemed like nowhere because of how dark the ceiling was. The water came down with such a pressure that you could feel a constant wind blowing off of it. Once the water splashed down it escaped through a crack in the wall to our right which led into an underground river. That section of the cave was still unexplored but if I had to guess it probably fed into HOWES river Stix.
After a few minutes basking in the glory of the downflowing stream that was the underground waterfall, we started to head back the way we came. At one point our guide turned off all the lights and let us sit in absolute darkness just so we could experience it, I’ve never seen anything so dark it felt like my eyes were closed in a dark room.
Although the tour was much shorter and the cave and guide were defiantly less groomed then HOWES, the experience was as close to authentic spelunking as you could get without cracking open a fresh cave. I would have to say I enjoyed the secret caves much more then HOWES not only because the guide was more personable but because the whole time I was in the cave I got a sense of adventure and wonderment that HOWES lacked severely.
Travelling Trev